-So, yeah… This just happened.
–Matt Taylor, one of the smarter-than-I people who helped contribute to the space project to put a probe on a comet and potentially helped uncover the secrets of the universe was driven to tears as he apologized for the ‘big mistake’ he committed. What was the big mistake? Did he just fail the space mission, wasting a lot of people’s time and money? No, I heard that actually went pretty well. Did he lied about his credentials and scientific data, potentially endangering the entire project? Not really, nope… It was actually because he was wearing the shirt up above, a very tacky shirt filled with pictures of cartoonish semi-naked girls wearing BDSM gear and gun blazing all over the place (Designed by his friend, a female, no less).
-Just look at that fucking monster! What a salacious and inconsiderate bastard! Why, I bet he used those misogynistic eyes of his to rape every single vulnerable female that has the bad luck of encountering him! I bet he’s gonna force his daughters into marriage with random strangers. I bet whenever he sees women, he will go out of his way to harass them to no end. Where are those white knights and social justice warriors when we need them? We need those fucking heroes of the Internet. Where are they to save us from that horrendous shirt that is basically a flag that condones the raping and mistreatment of all women? Matt Taylor, I hope you’re somehow reading this, you fucking bastard. Why do you hate women so much?!
-But seriously though, what the fuck? The dude just helped land a probe on the ass end of some comet which might eventually help us learn more about space and shit, so cut the dude some fucking slack. I do understand that we should always be conscious of what’s right and what’s wrong but for God’s sake, it was a goddamn joke, a lame and cringe-worthy joke, but a joke nonetheless. It’s not like he was wearing a shirt that screamed “WOMEN SUCKS!” and actively campaigned at how women are lame compared to those who have balls. But then again, on the other hand, I guess he asked for it, right? He deserved all of the hate since he knew he was about to be broadcasted live and chose to wear that shirt. He was completely asking for it because he just chose to be wearing that at the time…
-Gosh, that kinda sounds awfully familiar, don’t you think?
-I got nothing against Feminism. Feminism isn’t evil or stupid. I’m all up for Feminism. I’ll support the shit out of Feminism and Equality and all that jazz. It’s just I absolutely hate those weeaboo attention seekers, those lame-ass social justice warriors and glorified white knights, who goes out of their way to get offended at every single thing. I’m not mentioning any names but I bet you already know a few, am I right? It’s like they’re actively seeking for anything – any little thing – that could be somehow, at a very long stretch, be considered as sexist, offensive or racist. And when they do, they’ll get all butthurt about it and just started spewing their idiotic hate everywhere across the social media. Because of that, people are forced to conform and do what they were whining about, just to get them to shut the hell up and even then, that will never be enough for those fuckers. They’ll always find a way to be offended again, even if you have made a formal apology. (Prime example would be poor Wil Wheaton.) Heck, I taught spoiled and unfair children that are a whole lot better and smarter than these crybabies. And you know what the absolute worst part is? They think what they’re doing is good, that what they’re doing is just, and that it makes them ‘Heroes’? Pffffffft, yeah, right… Whatever you say.
-I always tried to ignore them but recently, I’ve been getting really annoyed by their presence when they start encroaching and getting their easily-offended influence on my favourite past-time: Video Games. (Like that old Microsoft presentation of Killer Instinct last year or how Anita Sarkeesian used Hitman: Absolution to beat up women in order to falsify evidence for her little crusade against games.) And because of that, it’s getting more and more difficult to just ignore all of their insane bullshit and I just have no choice but to go off on one of my incredibly dumb and over-glorified rants (Hey, that’s the name of this website?!).
-While some of us just chuckled or cringed at the lame shirt and paid attention to the probe’s landing, others were more keen on directing their attention to what the scientists were wearing and get oh so offended to it. This poor man who is at the best and critical moment of his life, who possibly helped achieve some massive development in space science and technology for all of Humanity, has to suffer all the pointless hate and was then forced to apologize for something he just chose to wear (who may or may not be at the request of his female friend). Congrats, you guys, you just made a grown man cry. Good job, you stingy bastards! But then again, since he has a dick and a pair of balls, I guess that’s just fine and dandy because Men can’t be emotional and weak, right? Equality!
-Now can we just pay attention to the goddamn comet instead?
Glorified Rants 