The Game Awards 2014

Whelp, here are all the winners of the ever illustrious Game Awards of 2014.

Game of the Year:

• Bayonetta 2
• Dark Souls II
• Dragon Age: Inquisition (Winner)
• Hearthstone
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor

Really? Dragon Age: Inquisition? I mean, Dragon Age was good and I liked it and all, but I never once thought it was ‘GOTY’ good. Personally, I would have to

either choose Dark Souls 2 or Bayonetta 2.

Best Independent Game:

• Broken Age – Act 1
• Monument Valley
• Shovel Knight (Winner)
• Transistor
• The Vanishing of Ethan Carter

No contest. Man, Shovel Knight is the goddamn shit. Hey, buy Shovel Knight. Stop reading now and buy Sho- no, wait. Read this until the end and then, go buy Shovel Knight. If you already have Shovel Knight, buy it again. If you have a friend that doesn’t like Shovel Knight, well… They’re not your friend anymore.

Best Narrative:

• South Park: The Stick of Truth
• The Walking Dead — Season 2
• The Wolf Among Us
• Valiant Hearts: The Great War (Winner)
• Wolfenstein: The New Order

Man, old Wars are really great mediums if you want awards, don’t you think? Just like slavery or the ‘trying-too-hard-to-make-you-cry’ struggles of some people. Oh well, at least you can see the effort and hard work being put into Valiant Hearts.

Best Performance:

• Adam Harrington as Bigby Wolf — The Wolf Among Us
• Kevin Spacey as Jonathan Irons — Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare
• Melissa Hutchinson as Clementine — The Walking Dead — Season 2
• Trey Parker as various voices — South Park: The Stick of Truth (Winner)
• Troy Baker as Talion — Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor

Considering I never watched that much of South Park, I’m just gonna assume this is fine and dandy but if I had a choice, I would’ve picked Clementine. Bigby Wolf and Talion wasn’t that memorable to me and Jonathan Irons’s presence was too little to make enough of an impression on me.

Best Remaster:

• Grand Theft Auto V (Winner)
• Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire
• The Last of Us Remastered
• The Master Chief Collection
• Tomb Raider: Definitive Edition

That first-person mode really did throw everyone in a loop, didn’t it?

Best Action/Adventure:

• Alien: Isolation
• Assassin’s Creed Unity
• Bayonetta 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor (Winner)
• Sunset Overdrive

Bayonetta 2 should’ve won this shit! Oh well, I guess some voters didn’t like the idea of playing Bayonetta, those losers and wimps… Oh well, at least it was some kind of Innovation that won, isn’t that right, Assassin Creed Unity?

Best Fighting Game:

• Killer Instinct: Season 2
• Persona 4 Arena Ultimax
• Super Smash Bros. 3DS
• Super Smash Bros. Wii U (Winner)
• Ultra Street Fighter IV

It’s a shame that Sakurai doesn’t want to make another one anymore. Whelp, get him to make a new IP or something.

Best Sports/Racing Game:

• FIFA 15
• Forza Horizon 2
• Mario Kart 8 (Winner)
• NBA 2K15
• Trials Fusion

Haha, all those super hyper realistic sports game (besides Trials Fusion) got beaten by a fat plumber and his friends!

Best Shooter:

• Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare
• Destiny
• Far Cry 4 (Winner)
• Titanfall
• Wolfenstein: The New Order

Far Cry 4 is basically more Far Cry 3. Which is cool because Far Cry 3 was awesome.

Best Role-Playing Game:

• Bravely Default
• Dark Souls II
• Divinity
• Dragon Age: Inquisition (Winner)
• South Park: The Stick of Truth

Oh man, this is tough. I like the new Dragon Age, but I had more of a fun time with Dark Souls 2 and Bravely Default. I guess this is because those two games aren’t the most easily approached by most people.

Best Family Game:

• Disney Infinity 2.0
• Fantasia: Music Evolved
• Mario Kart 8 (Winner)
• Skylanders: Trap Team
• Tomodachi Life

Fun for the whole family and it doesn’t try to leech off your wallet!

Best Online Experience:

• Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare
• Dark Souls II
• Destiny (Winner)
• Hearthstone
• Titanfall

What the hell? Destiny’s Multiplayer is nothing, there’s really nothing. It’s just an average multiplayer shooter just like any average shooter. You can’t even trade or talk to other people and the clan system is just too annoying to be bothered with. If you call stumbling along on some people while walking around and just started shooting on some aliens together as the best online experience this year had to offer, I don’t know what could be count as the absolute worst. Wow, the bar must’ve been really low this year, huh?

Best Mobile/Handheld Game:

• Bravely Default
• Hearthstone (Winner)
• Monument Valley
• Super Smash Bros. for 3DS
• Threes!

Oooooh, complicated card games! I kinda feel like this category should’ve been separated since Mobile Games and Handheld Games are miles apart from each other. It’s pretty unfair for the little mobile games, don’t you think?

Developer of the Year:

• Blizzard
• Monolith
• Nintendo (Winner)
• Telltale
• Ubisoft Montreal

Fuck you, Ubisoft.

Best Score/Soundtrack:

• Alien: Isolation
• Child of Light
• Destiny (Winner)
• Sunset Overdrive
• Transistor

Gotta admit, Destiny had some awesome music. Just wished there was a better game to play while listening to it. Good thing you fired that guy who composed all of the music, huh, Bungie?

Games for Change:

• Mountain
• Never Alone
• The Last of Us: Left Behind
• This War of Mine
• Valiant Hearts: The Great War (Winner)

I was a bit confused about this category at first but yeah, it’s kinda cool. I personally preferred This War of Mine or Never Alone as better games for this category. Valiant Hearts can be a bit too linear and confusing.

Most Anticipated Game:

• Batman: Arkham Knight
• Bloodborne
• Evolve
• The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (Winner)
• Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End

AWWWWWWWWWW YISSSSSSSSSSS, MUTHA FUCKIN’ GERALT

eSports Player of the Year:

• Martin ‘Rekkles’ Larsson (League of Legends)
• Xu “Fy” Linsen (DOTA2)
• James “Firebat” Kostesich (Hearthstone)
• Christopher “GeT_RiGhT” Alesund (Counter-Strike: GO)
• Matt “NaDeSHoT” Haag (Call of Duty)

I don’t care.

eSports Team of the Year:

• Samsung White (League of Legends)
• Evil Geniuses (DOTA2)
• Edward Gaming (League of Legends)
• Newbee (DOTA2)
• Ninjas in Pajamas (Counter-Strike: GO) (Winner)

Still not caring…

Trending Gamer:

• Evan “Vanoss” Fong
• Jeff Gerstmann
• PewDiePie
• StampyLongHead
• TotalBiscuit (Winner)

Oh yeah, TB! Pretty cool guy…

Best Fan Creation:

• BEST Zelda Rap EVER!! By Egoraptor
• Luigi Death Stare by CZBwoi and Rizupicorr
• Mine the Diamond (Minecraft Song) by Tobuscus
• Minecraft — TITAN City by Colonial Puppet
• Twitch Plays Pokemon by Anonymous (Winner)

I admit I was there when it happened. I tried my best to fuck it up as much as possible. It was kinda fun, but I lost interest when they tried to do another Pokemon game.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, that’s all of the winners. What are your thoughts on the Game Awards, random reader? Or did you, like little ole’ me, just watch this thing for some of the new video game announcements?